Being a black woman is hard. I believe it is one of the hardest positions to fill on the earth. We have so many obligations, so many people constantly depending on us and so many people continuously expecting so much from us. We have to care for the kids, care for our men, excel at our job, be involved in church, be apart of community service projects and have time for our girlfriends. All of which have to be completed daily. There is no in between for a black woman.You are either a strong black woman accepting the responsibility of the world or you are weak and naive. And who wants to be weak and naive… not me. So what do we do?? We become completely stressed each day of our lives dealing and living with the intense pressures of doing what it is that we believe a strong black woman must.

Somewhere in between dealing with everyone else’s bullshit stuff, we have forgotten about the most important element… Ourselves. We have lost ourselves in the hustle and bustle of trying to conform to the ”alleged” characteristics that make up a black woman.

A couple years back I remember a close friend of mine had surgery. Her doctor informed her that she needed to take several weeks to heal, if not her condition would worsen. She called me in tears a couple hours later. I imagined she was sad because of the type of surgery she had to undergo. She later explained through her tears that she had too much stuff to do to be out of commission that long. She had to make her parents happy by maintaining her grades meaning being out of school was not an option. She had to take her younger sister to school in the mornings because no one else could. She had to finish her internship, she had prior commitments on campus. She told her friend that she would help her plan a surprise party for their friend. She was too consumed with everyone else’s bull to take time off after surgery, this is why she was crying.

She was crying because being out would cause her to be a burden to people. Being out would cause her to be weak, being out would cause her to need help from the people she was so used to catering to. I told her like I tell all my completely stressed out girlfriends. You need to take care of yourself first, you are your ultimate responsibility, you are powerless without your health and sanity.

So ladies, more specifically my black ladies… It’s easy to forget about the most important person in your world…YOU.

Alleviate the pressures by taking time to be reintroduced to yourself, it’s been wanting to be reacquainted with you for ages now, so give it a chance. It makes a huge difference in your happiness and overall well being.

Peaches&Gumbo