Just A Friend
It’s Wednesday night and you are just wondering what the boo is doing. So you call him/her up to tell them you miss them or some other random gay shit. And what do you hear in the background. “The friend.” The opposite sex friend. The one whom your boo confides in about everything. I mean you can’t be mad, they have been friends since like 7th grade. But damn, who can’t help but feel a little insecurity when your Taye Diggs has a Sanaa Lathan. (Brown Sugar… just in case you didnt get it, lol)
I’ll never forget my first encounter with “the friend.” It was Valentine’s Day and me and the mans had a wonderful night planned. We had been together for only about 3 months so we weren’t doing anything extravagant. I prepared a bomb ass dinner with all of his favorite foods represented. Let’s just say everything was perfect. About an hour into our first V day together, his phone rings. I immediately give him the, don’t even think about answering glare, and he silences the phone. A couple minutes later the phone rings again, and wait world it rings yet again. Finally after 6, I repeat 6 freaking phone calls, I tell him to just pick up the damn phone… Must be an emergency right??? I know you are wondering who could have possibly been calling him so much and on Valentines Day.
Oh you know who it was, his best friend. His best “girl” friend. Apparently she had been stood up and needed someone to talk to because she could do nothing but cry. So what does my weak ass boyfriend suggest, well why don’t you just come over here and spend Valentine’s Day with us. WHAT!!! I don’t think I have ever been that pissed in my life.
Needless to say that was just the mere beginning of many ruined dates due to the “Home Girl.” Eventually I grew tired of the situation and had to bizounce. I am here to warn you…
BEWARE OF THE FRIEND!!!
It’s not hard to spot the friend, they are usually the person that your guy/girlfriend will introduce you to first. Because they want the opposite sex perspective on you. They wanna know if you add up to your very own peers. They also think that the friend will be able to immediately spot whether you are really into them or not. I mean personally, I see nothing wrong with these tactics. I actually believe that everyone should have this person in their life.
But sometimes, “The Friend” over steps their boundaries and ends up doing a little too much. For example, they always tend to call every time you are on a date, they may even show up. They always have something negative to add about every person you talk to, adding in the fact that no one is good enough for you. They make jokes and say things like, Oh how’s what’s her face doing? or how is your little boyfriend? See what I mean these things shouldn’t happen. And if they are, I have one thing to say… You have more than a friend on your hands buddy. Your “friend,” is desperately in love with you and probably has a sculpture with strands of your hair in his/her closet.
Just Beware, that’s all I am asking. Because you might miss out on that special person due to the person you have deemed, “Just a Friend.”
Peaches&Gumbo
Wait No More
Ahhh! You just started dating the most amazing guy/girl. They make you laugh, you guys have a ball together and you get giddy whenever they send you those random text messages throughout the day. Everything is just so new and great. As time passes, the physical attraction increases and you could want nothing more than to… well you know. So when is it appropriate to go through with the do?? Well of course there are a few necessities that must be taken care of before i get into this topic. It is 2008 and disease is rampant, so before you do or think to do anything both parties should be knowledgeable of each others std status. Ok now that, that is out the way.
Ladies a lot of you have trouble coming to a conclusion to this question and instead depend on the opinion of friends or television shows such as Girlfriends…(Joans 3 month rule). But really as a grown ass woman, should sex with someone you genuinely care be based upon a timeline. I mean this sounds a bit immature but maybe thats just me. Now I am not saying that upon meeting a guy at the local club you should immediately take him home after he has introduced himself to you but it makes no sense to hold off for months and months doing something that you are going to eventually do anyway.
Guys you equally have an issue with coming to the conclusion of this question. Although most of you would more than likely love to lay your special lady down immediately, you also know that if this were to happen she wouldn’t be so special to you anymore. So although I do not think there should be a specific timeline, that does not mean that you should proposition your girl mere hours after you guys have begun dating exclusively.
My answer may leave you a tad salty but so what, its my blog… you can leave, lol.
But I believe that you should wait until you can’t wait anymore. Aww come on peaches, what the hell does that mean. Simple, when you both get to the point where neither of you can even think of going another moment without exploring each other, then BAM you should get it poppin. This means that it has to be a mutual feeling between the both of you. How can you tell when this happens you ask?? You will know, it will almost feel like both of you have to pee really badly.
1.Everything will start to get awkwardly quiet when you are watching a love scene in a movie.
2.Most late night conversations will slyly end up entering into the sex talk zone.
3.Kisses will become deeper and longer.
4.Lastly, both of you will just become so ridiculously frustrated with each other that the inevitable will be bound to happen.
When you wait until you cant wait anymore, trust me it will be the most memorable night of each of your sexy lives.
Peaches&Gumbo
Vent
Disclaimer: Sometimes I just have to write how I feel. Sometimes I have no particular directions in which the writing is going but it eases the tension and allows me to exhale.
There are three types of people that I hate in the world. Thieves, Flexers and Judgemental people. I never for the life of me could understand why people stole from others. I mean to me its the most disgusting thing ever and you should be ashamed if you are a thief because you’re just pretty stupid.
For the life of me I just dont get how people can act one way behind closed doors and then completely morph into some other creature upon other people entering onto the scene. These are flexers, they will treat you with complete indifference when others are around but be your bestest bud when you two are in a closed space. These people can run into the highway during rush hour.
But of all the people I hate, the person who is so quick to judge others’ actions would have to be at the top of the list. You have all come in to contact with this person, they ride around on this pedestal that they have falsely placed themselves upon. And any and everything that you do, a comment slaps you in the face full speed from them. And the first thing you do is furrow your brows and wonder, hmm didn’t really ask for that comment. This person always is in search of allies because in this war they need equally judgmental people to attack your insecurities so that maybe a litte joy can come into their lives. I just dont get it, how can someone find or choose to completely exploit your rough spots. It’s crazy, i never could understand it and I probably never will, but i guess anything to get attention.
Peaches&Gumbo
Damn You Darlene!!
I am tripping, world. I am looking back on somethings that i said and did last week and am truly laughing at myself. So here’s my story… It never fails, whenever I start to remotely like someone, I become my alter ego, Darlene. Now usually I am the fun, outgoing, flirty girl. The one who is flipping her hair while adorning a cute smirk and makng everyone laugh. But when that person comes into my life, everything changes. I become this caring, overreacting, clingy girl who will do anything and go completely out of her way for that guy. It’s sickening, because even though i see it coming I can’t keep wack ass Darlene from taking over.
So of course, I accidentally started liking this guy. Yeah it was a complete accident because due to the circumstances that i am in and the type of guy he is, it would never work. So like many women, I completely psyched myself out and kept telling myself:
*We’re just…, I won’t like him, he’s completely crazy. *Girl, this is all about…, I would never even dream of thinking of his wack ass that way. ( or my best line) *Just because he makes me upset and I yell at him, doesn’t mean I care. Damn!
So of course Darlene came out. I started texting him all the time about complete nonsense, asking him to come by all the time, cooking him dinner, and just really exhibiting complete and utter thirst. It became sad, like seriously. So like any normal person, he abruptly ignored Darlene. Damn!
Well world, I created this blog to help you learn from all of my horrible mistakes so here are some steps so that you will not be associated with becoming a Darlene.
1. if it’s just sex, let it be just that. This means, you guys don’t need to hang out, study together, or even have the same group of friends. Trust me, if you are in a sexual relationship it can’t double as a friendship. So if you have this going, stop because it’s gonna be all bad real soon.
2. If you start feeling someone, play it cool. This is the most important because being all exra around them and offering them everything and anything that you can offer all at the same time will scare them and in turn they won’t talk to your crazy ass.
3. Don’t tell your business. Trust me on this one, it will always backfire. Because if you have friends like mine they won’t let you live anything down and will ridicule you until the day you die. And plus you don’t want to speak to soon about something that hasnt happened because it’s embarassing if it doesnt happen.
4. There is never anything wrong with playing a little hard to get. Ladies: Let him chase you a little, it makes you seem powerful and attractive. Guys: Be slightly unavailable. When you can’t always be there it makes you seem important and busy, which is attractive.
Hopefully, you guys can learn from my alter ego Darlene, I sure have. And if you fall short, just laugh at yourself and blog about it.
Peaches&Gumbo
Mr. President
As I stood at Park, a lounge/restaurant in Washington DC, last night nothing could have prepared me for the history that was to be made in mere hours. Of course, I had gotten casually fly and headed out to have a good ole political time, I honestly was not prepared for the emotion that would consume me at 11:02 pm.
Its funny because I think that African Americans are so accustomed to defeat that we just kind of expect it at times. It may sound ignorant but although I had traveled to rural South Carolina, canvassing in the rain, sent an absentee ballot to the racist and conservative state of Georgia, heard the hope in the voice of my grandparents and parents, I still had that twinge of doubt. Not a big twinge but a twinge nonetheless. So at 11:02 p.m. when CNN announced that Barack Obama would be the president elect, I could not do anything but cry. I didn’t care that i had on black eyeliner or that I was in the center of a club, all I could think about was the simple fact that we finally did it. We finally can say that we can perform any feat.
At the young age of 21 I have dealt with and have been faced with some of the most racist situations you could think of, but now I have hope. I have hope in America and just like the lovely Michelle Obama put it, for the first time in my life I am truly proud to be an American. So remain hopeful, prayerful and remember he can’t do this alone. Keep up the political hype and make this the most memorably positive 4 years possible. Stay involved don’t leave him hanging because he needs us America, and we especially the black community can not let him down.
Peaches&Gumbo
peachesngumbo