Communication: to express thoughts, feelings, or information easily or effectively.

Apparently a large majority of guys are unable to do this. Don’t get me wrong here, guys can talk and even listen but when it comes to actually needing to get a point across effectively, you guys are pretty horrible at this. I have spent a large majority of my relationships attempting to decode and analyze what has been said to me by a guy. Ladies, you can all agree with this process. Your guy says something completely obscure or vague to you about what he’s feeling and you have to enlist your friends to try and aid you in decoding what he actually meant. It’s a very tediuos process that I find myself doing quite a bit.

I mean just last night a guy I am in a situation with sent me a completely obscure text message and I had to enlist the advice of a male friend to enlighten me on what the guy was trying to get across. Ridiculous!! I mean there was no way that I would have been able to figure out that an invitation is spelled out like…” idk about you but Im going home.” Who knew?? I thought an invitation would sound more like… “Im going home alone unless you wanted to go with me.” Oh well I guess my inability to decode left me alone last night. DAMN!!

But to combat those lonely nights I figure that maybe I could help some of you gals out there with a little male decoding.

The Invite

Ok so it’s the end of the night, you’ve had all the fun that can be had with other people watching and you both are heading home. Most times no matter how confident or bold the guy seems, he probably feels some type of way about coming right out and asking you if he can come over. So he will ask something like: “what you bout to get into?” or the latest one “i don’t know about you, but I’m about to go home. Now both of these will lead into more conversation which will then lead into the actual invitation several minutes later. This is quite time consuming and irritating to the female and would end in more of a success if you would just be upfront and ask for what you want. Remember: confidence is the sexiest asset on a guy and if you don’t have that, you’re invitation will be promptly declined.

Not Interested

You and your guy have been “going steady” for a couple weeks now and lately he has become slightly distant. You try with all your might to figure out what is wrong with him but he keeps telling you he is fine and you are just over reacting. Well until that one day you call and he doesn’t answer. So you follow your call up with a text, which he doesn’t answer. At this point you are frustrated because he always answers. Several frantic calls and text messages later, still no answer. I hate to tell you this girl, but he is over you. What we fail to realize as women, is that if a guy has a genuine interest in you he will always find a way to either talk to you or be around you. He will make a way because he likes you. When you have to bribe him with dirty texts or threats for him to call or text you back, he’s so not interested so leave it alone. This is incredibly immature but at the end of the day, I assume guys feel that it is better to just not respond so that they won’t have to deal with the drama of explaining to the girl why they aren’t interested so they just stop answering. LOSERS!!

I Like You

So I have found that guys just have a really hard time being the first to admit an emotion. But there are a couple of ways to know if he likes you. If he says, “You’re one of the coolest girls I’ve ever met” or “No other girls compare” he probably has a little flame burning for you. By comparing you to other girls, he feels like this shows you’re the best and in turn this comparison is a way for him to show he is feeling you. Guys always want the best and by putting you at the top of the list you’re just what they want.

Lastly, here is the one that I always have trouble figuring out. When the hell are guys truly upset with you? Simple, if they just want to drop a subject when you bring it up, they walk away from you or they keep indicating that they feel indifferent about a situation. These are all clear indicators that they are pissed about something and you should give them a little time and then apologize. Once you do that, they will talk to you about it.

Now you see gals, all those strange actions actually mean something, they aren’t just being all dumb and crazy. They are just slightly slower when it comes to effectively communicating with humans, lol.

Peaches&Gumbo

Why does it seem that guys have this secret pass to get away with anything? I mean, they can sleep with whomever they want… except like a cousin or sister, they can exploit women, date or not date, completely cheat on their girlfriends and it is considered alright. Society is so screwed up how did they get this pass and where in the hell can I get one. I mean it would be extremely useful to have one if by chance I am married and meet Idris Elba. That way people won’t think I am a disrespectful whore because I will lay him down. Owww!!

So guess what ladies, I am giving you this pass. There are of course some limitations to this pass and you must abide by them in order to remain respectable.

The Pass is a one time only ticket that you may use in order to do something that would be completely alright for a man but completely not ok for a woman. Examples include but are not limited to: one night stands, farts/burps, cheating, not answering texts or calls from your special someone, whistling/catcalling at fine guys.

So ladies go ahead do something crazy and against the societal norm, who cares you have a Pass and it is completely fine for you to act a complete ass and do what you always have wanted to without worrying about the weak ass Double Standard.

Peaches&Gumbo

If you are an avid reader of this blog you all read my warning about the person that you have deemed as your opposite sex “Friend.” Well guess what, apparently everyone did not take heed to my warning, and more importantly, I am so over the “friend,” thus it must be revisited.

But I will give this person the benefit of the doubt, I am assuming that their utterly out of place comments and actions occur because they may be unaware that they are this “friend.” So as usual I have compiled a list to aide you guys in figuring out if you fit into this category or not. I mean I am here to help!!

You Are in the “Just A Friend” category when:

1. You are constantly questioning the situation that your opposite sex friend is in. Situation includes but is not limited to: low key relationships, out in the open relationships, cut buddy relationships or maybe even friendships. You are always asking your friend why they are involved in this?? or what is it that keeps you in this situation?? Realize that You’re a hater, if you do this and if the girl or guy involved has not Chris Browned your friend, has an STD, is an all around bad person or has slept with your friends brother or sister then you need not comment.

2. You are constantly making comments to the non friend in the situation. Uh yeah I know you guys are like I wish a (insert obscene word here) would say something to me. But it happens, these people get incredibly bold and feel that they have the place to comment to whomever is involved. Never, I repeat never say any out the way comments to your friends situation. It is not your place, you are not involved therefore… (clears throat) don’t involve yourself. At the end of the day it makes you look like something possibly is going on with you two or you are crazy. Stop This.

3. You befriend your friends situation in order to bad talk your friend to them. This is just crazy, but it has happened to me. If you have suddenly become all buddy buddy with your friends situation out of a common interest, cool. But if you find yourself revealing that your friend has messed with so many people, or girl i could never see myself talking to this person because…, then you are a top candidate in the category.

All in all, if you are not involved in something, stay the hell up out of it. Neither person involved needs or wants you to add any validity to their situation and they are grown ass people so they can figure it out on their own. So keep your thoughts and feelings to yourself and if you get bored, find  a hobby… take up knitting or something.

Peaches&Gumbo

Peaches&Gumbo

2. I don’t like people, I just tolerate them because I have to.

3. I kinda live for celebrity gossip, sad i know.

4. I cry like once every other week.

5.I prefer dark skin dudes over light skin ones… sorry

6. I am deathly afraid of birds.

7. I am a drunk texter

8. Either my brain is small or I have no attention span. But I can not focus on one thing for more than 12 minutes, this number lessens if there is noise interference.

9. My eyelashes don’t curl.

10. I love to read, I read at least one or two books a month that aren’t assigned.

Peaches&Gumbo

Peaches&Gumbo

My question to all of the shady ass disrespectful people out there is, what the fuck are you on? were you born in an alternate universe where it was cool to do the things you do? Should I not be hurt that you have clearly disrespected me openly in my own house. Like what are you on, what are you about?? I have never felt so upset by a situation in my life. And over a situation that was closed months ago but you have the freaking audacity to completely overlook the obvious and force me to be uncomfortable and for what. Some space to smoke, and free drinks. Like what are you on? I have never met anyone as despicably disrespectful and I wish that I honestly never met you. But with all things I have no regrets I am glad you were in my life so that I will definitely know for future situations. Please believe this shit won’t happen again. It was just a slip in judgment, and that is my fault. Because I knew that nothing good could come of secretively hiding shit from everyone. If it can’t be broadcasted it is never right.

Your character and integrity have been completely compromised and I have absolutely no respect for your ridiculousness. I am usually a good judge of character world, but this time I completely fucked up.

Trust you will reap this, you really will.

Peaches&Gumbo

Whats up?
I know we haven’t spoken for a while
But I was thinkin bout you
And it kinda made me smile
So many things to say
And I’ll put em on a blog post
Thought it might be easier
The words might come out better
How’s your mother, how’s your little sister?
Does she still look just like you?
So many things I wanna know the answers to
Wish I could press rewind
And rewrite every line
To the story of me and you

Don’t you know I’ve tried and I’ve tried
To get you out my mind
But it don’t get no better
As each day goes by
And I’m lost and confused
I’ve got nothin to lose
Hope to hear from you soon
P.S. I’m still not over you
Still not over you

Excuse me, I really didn’t mean to ramble on
But there’s a lot of feelings that remain since you’ve been gone
I guess you thought that I would put it all behind me
But it seems there’s always somethin right there to remind me
Like a silly joke, or somethin on the t.v.
Boy it aint easy
When I hear a ginuwine song
I get that same old feeling
Wish I could press rewind
Turn back the hands of time
And I shouldn’t be telling you

Did you know I kept all of your pictures
Don’t have the strength to part with them yet
Oh no….
Tried to erase the way your kisses taste
But some things a girl can never forget

P.S. I’m still not over you,

Peaches&Gumbo
*Compliments of Rihanna*

AWWWWWWWWWWw!!! Thanks you guys, there have been over 1000 hits to my litle ole blog. I truly appreciate you guys coming and reading, thats all I ask. Again thanks, and come on feel free to comment nothing bad will happen. LOL love you guys!!

It’s Wednesday night and you are just wondering what the boo is doing. So you call him/her up to tell them you miss them or some other random gay shit. And what do you hear in the background. “The friend.” The opposite sex friend. The one whom your boo confides in about everything. I mean you can’t be mad, they have been friends since like 7th grade. But damn, who can’t help but feel a little insecurity when your Taye Diggs has a Sanaa Lathan. (Brown Sugar… just in case you didnt get it, lol)

I’ll never forget my first encounter with “the friend.” It was Valentine’s Day and me and the mans had a wonderful night planned. We had been together for only about 3 months so we weren’t doing anything extravagant. I prepared a bomb ass dinner with all of his favorite foods represented. Let’s just say everything was perfect. About an hour into our first V day together, his phone rings. I immediately give him the, don’t even think about answering glare, and he silences the phone. A couple minutes later the phone rings again, and wait world it rings yet again. Finally after 6, I repeat 6 freaking phone calls, I tell him to just pick up the damn phone… Must be an emergency right??? I know you are wondering who could have possibly been calling him so much and on Valentines Day.

Oh you know who it was, his best friend. His best “girl” friend. Apparently she had been stood up and needed someone to talk to because she could do nothing but cry. So what does my weak ass boyfriend suggest, well why don’t you just come over here and spend Valentine’s Day with us. WHAT!!! I don’t think I have ever been that pissed in my life.

Needless to say that was just the mere beginning of many ruined dates due to the “Home Girl.” Eventually I grew tired of the situation and had to bizounce. I am here to warn you…

BEWARE OF THE FRIEND!!!

It’s not hard to spot the friend, they are usually the person that your guy/girlfriend will introduce you to first. Because they want the opposite sex perspective on you. They wanna know if you add up to your very own peers. They also think that the friend will be able to immediately spot whether you are really into them or not. I mean personally, I see nothing wrong with these tactics. I actually believe that everyone should have this person in their life.

But sometimes, “The Friend” over steps their boundaries and ends up doing a little too much.  For example, they always tend to call every time you are on a date, they may even show up. They always have something negative to add about every person you talk to, adding in the fact that no one is good enough for you. They make jokes and say things like, Oh how’s what’s her face doing? or how is your little boyfriend? See what I mean these things shouldn’t happen. And if they are, I have one thing to say… You have more than a friend on your hands buddy. Your “friend,” is desperately in love with you and probably has a sculpture with strands of your hair in his/her closet.

Just Beware, that’s all I am asking. Because you might miss out on that special person due to the person you have deemed, “Just a Friend.”

Peaches&Gumbo