I am tripping, world. I am looking back on somethings that i said and did last week and am truly laughing at myself. So here’s my story… It never fails, whenever I start to remotely like someone, I become my alter ego, Darlene. Now usually I am the fun, outgoing, flirty girl. The one who is flipping her hair while adorning a cute smirk and makng everyone laugh. But when that person comes into my life, everything changes. I become this caring, overreacting, clingy girl who will do anything and go completely out of her way for that guy. It’s sickening, because even though i see it coming I can’t keep wack ass Darlene from taking over.

So of course, I accidentally started liking this guy. Yeah it was a complete accident because due to the circumstances that i am in and the type of guy he is, it would never work. So like many women, I completely psyched myself out and kept telling myself:

*We’re just…, I won’t like him, he’s completely crazy. *Girl, this is all about…, I would never even dream of thinking of his wack ass that way. ( or my best line) *Just because he makes me upset and I yell at him, doesn’t mean I care. Damn!

So of course Darlene came out. I started texting him all the time about complete nonsense, asking him to come by all the time, cooking him dinner, and just really exhibiting complete and utter thirst. It became sad, like seriously. So like any normal person, he abruptly ignored Darlene. Damn!

Well world, I created this blog to help you learn from all of my horrible mistakes so here are some steps so that you will not be associated with becoming a Darlene.

1. if it’s just sex, let it be just that. This means, you guys don’t need to hang out, study together, or even have the same group of friends. Trust me, if you are in a sexual relationship it can’t double as a friendship. So if you have this going, stop because it’s gonna be all bad real soon.

2. If you start feeling someone, play it cool. This is the most important because being all exra around them and offering them everything and anything that you can offer all at the same time will scare them and in turn they won’t talk to your crazy ass.

3. Don’t tell your business. Trust me on this one, it will always backfire. Because if you have friends like mine they won’t let you live anything down and will ridicule you until the day you die. And plus you don’t want to speak to soon about something that hasnt happened because it’s embarassing if it doesnt happen.

4. There is never anything wrong with playing a little hard to get. Ladies: Let him chase you a little, it makes you seem powerful and attractive. Guys: Be slightly unavailable. When you can’t always be there it makes you seem important and busy, which is attractive.

Hopefully, you guys can learn from my alter ego Darlene, I sure have. And if you fall short, just laugh at yourself and blog about it.

Peaches&Gumbo