Hmmm.. So I had a very interesting weekend as usual. So the whole week last week this guy insisted that I come out to his party, even though I usually am not in the clubs like that I decided to go since my cousin was in town. We get there, walk up to the front and go in. Seems normal right… wrong!! Inside everyone is about 40 and up. I was so pissed. The men were adorned in linen leisure suits with those little sandals and the women had on the best Ann Taylor and Dress Barn money could buy, I was so offended. I was sure that any minute I would bump into my uncle or worst my grandfather. The night followed with everyone doing the electric slide and singing Frankie Beverly and Maze. Just bad, it was just really bad.

This experience inspired me to come up with my Do’s and Don’ts for the Old Folks…

1. Don’t go to the club after the age of 45. It is distasteful to see an old man hounding younger females and dancing up on females, it makes me throw up a little in my mouth.
2. Ladies: Don’t wear low cut shirts or short skirts/shorts. Things have happened over the years that make it no longer sexy for you to have your breast and butt even remotely out. Stop this no one wants to see it.
3. Men: Don’t try to talk to girls that could be your daughter or granddaughter. This is utterly ridiculous and it makes you look like Chester the Molester.
4. Don’t wear urban brands with logos plastered across them. These brands include but are not limited to Roca Wear, Baby Phat, Apple Bottoms, Enyce, Phat Farm and Sean John. They were not made for you, therefore don’t put them on your damn body.
5. Do shop at Ann Taylor, J.Crew, Brooks Brothers and Gap. These places have as you would say,“hip” clothes that won’t make you look like you are trying to be young.
6. Do have card parties or shin digs at your house, clubhouses, or restaurants.
7. Don’t try and use the newest slang. Most times you are saying it in the wrong context and it makes you look old when you do that, not young.
8. Don’t try and be young. It is a blessing that you have made it successfully to this age. Don’t shortchange your wisdom by trying to act like a 25 year old. It is unsuccessful everytime.

*If you are reading this and you are the Oldy But Goodies out there please abide by these Do’s and Don’ts. They will save you a lot of embarassment.*

*If you are reading this and you are not an Oldy but Goody please pass this along to that Mom, Dad, Aunt or Uncle who suffers from the not wanting to look and act their age syndrome, it will save their lives.*

Peaches&Gumbo